Muttled Intentions
by doryishness
Summary: Tobi and puppies. That’s what started it all. When Tobi finds a nearlydead puppy, he pleads with Itachi to keep it – then promptly dumps it on him to take to the nearest vet. Grudingly, Itachi sneaks back into Konoha to give the pup to Hana Inuzuka.


Whoo! Another story by me::listens to the groans:: Hey, this is written for my pleasure, so I dun care what you think. -.-

Anyways, I'm not fond of this story actually, I think it started out sucky, I think it will continue sucky, and will end sucky. But the story is in my head and won't go away, and I enjoy writing, so I'm just using this story as writing practice.

I would like to thank my lovely beta **sasukefang** – for talking with me almost every night, making me laugh, sharing my love of yaoi, and letting me freely be a pervert with her, lol. I also want to thank her for getting this done so quickly! In like, twenty minutes! It was amazing! Lol.

_Disclaimer:_ I don't own Naruto. I don't own Hana or Itachi. I own NOTHING except pirated dvds of the show.

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What was the symbolic connection between feared evildoers and smoking rubble? Why did the scene always end up like that? The infamous lone figure, shaded and masked by smoke billowing in front of him, loomed over the chaos and destruction. That sort of background fit Itachi Uchiha's personality image perfectly. 

What didn't fit into the picture, was an orange-masked boy, bending over and digging through rubble while yelling, "Hey, look Itachi-san!" Several feet away from him, the stoic infamous murderer grimaced. He had nearly Mangekyo Sharingan'd the Akatuski leader when he had declared the two would be paired up temporarily for this mission. He vaguely wondered how fate had twisted itself to assign Kisame a solo mission, and let Deidara come down with some sort of sickness.

Normally Deidara would have insisted on his health, persisting that he was fine, and more then able to take on a mission. But some dust from a bomb of exploding clay had caused a strange reaction to the user, immobilizing him to a bed for several days. Itachi was more disgusted at that ludicrous idea then the solo mission Kisame had taken on for himself. The shark-man had politely requested a few days leave, to search for and take his old comrade, Kurosuki Raiga's swords, before the other remaining Seven Mist Swordsmen did.

This left Itachi in his predicament now, a relatively easy mission of hunting down and capturing the young host of the 8-tailed demon. A young girl, according to the information they had been given, that resided in the Land of Honey with an old man, presumably her grandfather.

"Itachi-san, I found her!" The playful voice of the newest Akatuski member called. Itachi scowled by took a deep inner breath and turned around, narrowing his eyes at Tobi. Slowly, he strode over toward Tobi was standing and pointing into a heap of house rubble. Reaching Tobi, even a few feet away, was difficult for stone and wood blocked his path.

But Itachi seemingly stepped over all the debris in his way and peered over Tobi's arm into a small hole dented into the wreckage. Curled up and unconscious, a small girl laid there, dirty and smudged from the explosion of her home. Another thing Itachi didn't approve of. Tobi had already picked up on Deidara's habits, namely in the explosion area.

With a small grunt of acknowledgment to Tobi, Itachi leaned down and scooped up the child. She hung limply in his arms, head rolling to the side and dirty blond hair falling over her face. He barely noticed as his partner left his side, excited by something he spotted. Itachi studied the little girl, shifting her in his arms. Sometimes, it was hard for Itachi to see and believe that a powerful demon was sealed inside such a small and innocent container, like this little girl.

He was interrupted by his survey of the host by an incredibly loud squeal behind him. Ever vigilant, Itachi whirled around, his Sharingan activating and narrowing in on the source of the sound. But he visibly relaxed, shoulders sagging as he sneered in annoyance at Tobi.

The said Akatuski member was practically dancing from foot to foot, pulling something out of the wreckage. "Itachi-san, LOOK!" The orange-swirl masked face turned to Itachi, holding up something small and sagging in his hands. Itachi deactivated his Sharingan, squinting with his fading eyesight and inwardly groaned.

It was a puppy, and a dead puppy from the looks of it. But Tobi looked as if he had opened up a box to find a lively bundle of play on Christmas day. The light-brown sack of fur looked disgusting, dirty and it's lower half obviously squished to the point of cripple.

"Can I keep it!?" Tobi chirped sweetly, skipping closer to his temporary partner.

Itachi blinked, thinking he had misheard the request. Then stared in disbelief. His inner Itachi's jaw dropped and exploded within him, yelling, "ARE YOU NUTS!?" But on the outside, he just stared quietly, eyeing Tobi and sincerely hoping he was joking. But the grinning (well, Itachi could only assume Tobi was grinning under his mask) idiot was serious.

"No." Itachi said flatly, clenching his jaw in an attempt to keep his patience.

Tobi's face fell. (Again, Itachi could only assume the facial expressions behind the swirled mask.) "But… But PLEASE, Itachi-san!?" He begged. Itachi nearly twitched at Tobi's childish behavior. He couldn't believe he was witnessing an Akatuski member from a feared organization, acting like a seven year old.

"No." Itachi answered again. This time, the annoyance and impatience couldn't be kept from seeping into his voice as he gritted his teeth. "The dog is dead. Drop it." He ordered, shifting the little girl in his arms again.

"No it isn't! It's alive, see!?" Tobi held out the puppy to hover in Itachi's face, but the Uchiha pulled back, glaring dangerously. Tobi brought it back, refusing to give up. "It's alive. We can go to a vet person and threaten them to fix him!" He held up the puppy and gave it a little shake, that Itachi doubt was good for it. "Please, can I keep him?" Tobi pleaded pitifully.

Itachi inwardly sighed. Whatever it would take for the brat to shut up. The sooner they could leave, the sooner he could ditch Tobi back with Deidara and wait for his own tolerable partner to return. "Fine." He said flatly, closing his eyes and counting silently to five.

"YAY!" Tobi squealed happily. He burst forward and dumped the puppy on top of the little girl in Itachi's arms. Itachi's eyes flew open, as he stared down at the added cargo.

"What the hell are you doing?" Itachi demanded, staring at the puppy with wide, disbelieving eyes.

"You can take it to the vet!" Tobi chirped. He reached for the little girl, seizing and pulling her out of Itachi's arms. "I'll take her and go on back."

Itachi's jaw nearly dropped in incredulity. "Why can't you go!?" He demanded again, starting to seethe angirly. He shoved the dog back into Tobi's un-accepting arms. "I refuse to. You want the wretched thing, YOU take it!"

Tobi stared back at him innocently. "But Itachi-san…"

Itachi shook his head violently. "No! I'm not taking that thing anywhere." His Sharingan activated again, and he narrowed his red eyes on Tobi. "You open your mouth and argue, you can spend a week in hell with it." His eyes flashed dangerously. He honestly didn't expect the tactic Tobi approached with next.

"P-Please…Itachi-san?" Tobi whimpered, soundly trembling with tears. This time, Itachi's jaw did drop. Just a little. But where was Tobi coming up with all this acting? Honestly, Deidara couldn't have taught him all this, could he? Yes, Deidara was dramatic at times, but in the pmsing bitchy woman sort of way, not the teary, manipulative way.

Itachi just wanted to get away from the youth. He suspected that Tobi was only a little bit older then his own brother, Sasuke. "Fine." Itachi sighed, taking back the puppy. The change in Tobi was instantaneous as he cheered. Not even a hint of teary voice was left. Itachi almost wondered if he dreamed it.

"Yay! Thank you Itachi-san!" Tobi cheerfully whipped around and was gone an instant, before Itachi could realize his mistake and change his mind. He was left there in a pile of former home with a mangled mutt in his hand. This was his first mistake in the whole thing.

The second came when he actually started thinking.

Where the hell was he going to find a vet? He obviously couldn't walk into the local town now, not after destroying a building and kidnapping a little girl with the intent to end up killing her. Besides, the Land of Honey was poor and uneducated in this part of the country.

He didn't know anybody that had expertise with animals. With the exception of Tobi, the other Akatuski members weren't fond of animals and had no problem stomping on them or kicking them out of their way as they strolled along. Besides, who could like dogs? They were smelly, over-friendly, always-in-your-face, fleabags. And he had never known somebody who actually liked-

That's when it struck him. Years ago, back in Kohana, back in the Academy…back when his family was alive…there was a girl. A boisterous young girl, with sleek brown hair and red facial markings. And three dogs. That's what stuck her out the most, to Itachi. Three dogs, which were always in her company.

Her clan used dogs as their partners in jutsu, and in life, for the most part. She…she would know how to fix this puppy! If he remembered correctly, she had always talked about being a vet when she grew up. Absentmindedly, he wondered how old she would be now. She was only a few years younger then him when they were kids…but he brushed the unnecessary thought away, focusing on her useful trait. That was the only thing that mattered. She was from his old life. He didn't care about anything from his old life. And he would never go back to it.

So with a sigh, he turned on his heel, and stepped off, using the body flicker technique, towards the old village of Kohana. She would solve his problems quickly, and then this headache-inducing nightmare would be over shortly.

She was waiting for him. Hana Inuzuka.

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And before anyone goes into it – I know their kind of OOC here. For the sake of the story, it must be, and as the story progresses, I'm going to try and get it back into IC, but for this opening, things had to be a little AU. So bear with me. :-P I don't like it either. 

Okies, so, reviews would be nice. Polite, nice criticism is also appreciated, because frankly, since I know this sucked, What I do **NOT** want, is flames.


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